May I have the next dance, Miss Ball?

Stephen Colbert, in his inimitable style, talks of Jane Austen and Baseball.

A Wag of my Finger to British Author Julian Norridge, who claimed that Baseball originated in Britain, just because the word 'baseball' first appeared in the Jane Austen novel, Northanger Abbey, forty years before the sport was played here.

That doesn't mean that baseball is British! Austen wasn't writing about American baseball, it was a Jane Austen version, where the ball is not hurled about rudely, but introduced to the bat through proper channels at a society function. And one does not steal bases like a commoner, one sends word to the next base ahead by messenger, requesting to approach at the base's leisure. Of course, what the bat cannot reveal is that though he loves the ball desperately, he's sworn an oath of loyalty to the glove, to whom the ball was promised. So the bat must pretend that he hates the ball, swatting at it though he wishes nothing more than to profess his undying affection. But he can't, he musn't, he shan't. 

And so... the bad must retreat to the gardens of his estate and pine. 

The point is... the point is, Jane Austen, stay away from baseball. Stick to what you're good at, making your readers believe some debonair stranger will ride his horse through the rain over your father's fields. 

[Cut to Stephen behind an old window, with rain in front.] Oh, where are you, Mr. Darcy? Keep your promise!

*is rolling on the floor*

(It comes somewhere near the middle of that video. Enjoy! And you can go here in case the video doesn't work on my page.)

And to hell with Palin. Colbert for 2012!